Babies, Texas and Decisions

Hi!! This weekend was eventful... to say the least! So, lets start with Friday! I'm going to be a total cheese and put some of mine and Joe's note on here. Well, at least the part I liked the most.

Joe: So could you be me up, I'm kinda imtimidated. Would you play nice?
Me: If I wanted to I could have you on your butt before you realized what was going on.
Joe: Nice.. I'll have to just treat you like a princess and not ever get on your bad side. You should show me your skills sometime.


So thats all fine and dandy. So Saturday rolls around and I go to SLC with Sarah, Kandy and Kjersta. For some unknown reason I called Tristram (ex boy/fiance person). We ended up meeting him and baby Amaris at the Wingers in Lehi. He's divorced now, and I got to do the "I told you so" dance. Problem is.. I still love him, and I probably always will. I've pretended to more or less hate him for so long I forgot why I even started doing that. I told him that Amaris should've been mine, and he said he wishes she was. I love that little girl. She's nine months old and just the cutest little thing. I'm taking pictures of her on Wednesday. But.. Tristram more or less said that he wanted me back (Well he said he was scared to ask). We sat outside my house talking until about four in the morning.. Amaris was sleeping on me.. I could've held her all night. She smells just like a little baby. Which she should but. .yeah.. I'm so confused.. I don't even know what to do. I know I don't want to make a decision now, I'll regret that more than anything. I wish I could see what would happen if I choose a certain way, then I'd know if I'd be making the right decision. I guess time is the best thing I can do right now.. give it lots of time... and not make any rash decisions..