How great is it that I feel like my best friend has totally abandoned me? I guess its not . But.. is it really that bad to want to mean something.. anything.. to someone?her fault she dating a totally jerk.. I used to like him if that counts for anything.. He was such a jerk at the zoo!! He purposely made me feel like crap. He embarrassed me in front of James by telling him that I liked him and stuff.. WHO DOES THAT!
The worst part is that I'm actually considering Casey's attention isn't that bad. When really he only pays attention to me for one reason and one reason only.. Am I that desperate to have someone actually care about me? Even if it doesn't mean anything? wow.. that is pathetic.. but is it really that bad to want to mean something.. anything.. to someone? Wow.. reading over this it makes me realize just how pathetic I sound, all I do on her
e is whine about guys. Seriously!! But all I ever hear about is how I need to find a boyfriend and get married and make babies. It starts to get to you after awhile. I know my mom is kidding half the time, and she just really wants me to be happy and stuff.. but yeah... its getting to me.. I want something real, something that means something.. I can't handle this stupid dating stuff. Its full of empty promises and almost always end in some sort of pain. I have a another great song for today. Its "Dream" by Priscilla Ahn. Alot of the time I feel like that.. "Hey guys! Guess what! I had a dream too!"
e is whine about guys. Seriously!! But all I ever hear about is how I need to find a boyfriend and get married and make babies. It starts to get to you after awhile. I know my mom is kidding half the time, and she just really wants me to be happy and stuff.. but yeah... its getting to me.. I want something real, something that means something.. I can't handle this stupid dating stuff. Its full of empty promises and almost always end in some sort of pain. I have a another great song for today. Its "Dream" by Priscilla Ahn. Alot of the time I feel like that.. "Hey guys! Guess what! I had a dream too!" Is it strange that I just want everything to work out? I don't want to have to put effort into relationships. I want life to be easy and simple. I don't want to have to worry about money or school or food. I want to be able to dance with the Russian Ballet Company and the American Ballet Company and not have them tell me to lose weight because I'm beautiful the way I am. Is it wrong to want something so bad it makes you hurt? I'll do anything to achive my dream.. except become one of those girls who wont eat, just to look thin.. I don't want to give up who I am for something I could be.
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